Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

It's been a while since we posted any baby information. We are still feeling the loss of our China baby. For the last two months, we've been asking ourselves "Where do we go from here?". So many possibilites. Do you ever go to a restaurant and there's just too many choices on the menu. The waitress keeps coming back but you just can't seem to make up your mind. Well, I guess you can say, it's sort of like that but just more emotional, complicated and definitely more expensive. So on the menu we have these choices: 1) Do we just stick with one child? We asked Portia how she felt about this, but she became very upset. Truly, we don't feel that was the right answer for us anyway. 2) Do we try to adopt domestically? For the record, we did have a chance to adopt a new born baby, however, for personal reasons decided against it. This is a decision that we may likely regret for life. 3) Do we choose another country and try to adopt internationally again?
We're not sure what the future holds but for the moment we've registered with a Vietnam Adoption Agency. That only means that we are on a waiting list which will give us time before we need to make any real costly decisions. In the meantime, we continue to pray for guidance.

Fall Is In The Air

Well, summer is finally over and the leaves are quickly falling from the trees. What's new?? Portia started school. She was so excited to be going but I really had a hard time letting go. The first day she took the school bus was the hardest. She looked so beautiful, yet still so baby like. I kept questioning myself, wondering if I was doing the right thing. Maybe I should wait another year before I send her off...but I knew she really wanted to go and needed the stimulation. Of course the school bus came late and for every passing moment, our anxiety grew. Finally it came around the corner and I sensed Portia hesitating. Alex must have sensed how we were feeling since he swiped her up, put her on the bus between two bigger children, and sent her off. The doors closed and I stood there crying like a baby. Alex had to drive me home since I was a mess. I came into our quiet house and started to bawl. A little while later, a friend called (Tina) and informed me that she saw Portia, and her massive backpack, get off the bus. Actually she was so small, the teacher had to help her down. She just looked at Tina and said "Hi zia. Where's Tianna?", as if it was any regular day. Portia was so excited when we came to pick her up at the bus stop. She even told us that one of the big kids that she sat with held her hand. She said she couldn't wait to go back to school. Yeah, let's see how long she sings that tune?!